Don't Eat the Pork!!!

UPDATED: see note after Porky

Ok, I've got a long post about all of my recent travels about 2/3 complete, but I had to put this one out there.

THE WORLD IS SWINE FLU CRAZY!!!

You can not believe how terrified people are of the swine flu in Asia. It's as if there was a new disease that makes your money disintegrate or something. I was in Japan last week and any plane coming from the US or Mexico was not allowed to disembark until everyone on board was cleared of the Flu. Singapore is now requiring that anyone coming from the US or Mexico go directly to their home (if they've got one here) or a designated dormitory and be quarantined for at least 7 days. This thing has been entirely blown out of perspective.

Our friend Becky needed to take her daughter to the doctor yesterday for a "non-flu" reason. It took almost 2 hours for her to be seen and she had to fill out a pile of paperwork about where she'd been over the last month and what type of symptoms she had before they'd even let her in the waiting room. All of the staff at the doctors office was dressed in full protective gear. I assume to protect them from this dangerous virus...THAT HASN'T EVEN BEEN SEEN IN SINGAPORE!!!

How about some numbers?

About 36,000 people die in the US each year from the regular old flu virus. Yes, these people are normally the very old, young or weak, but that's still a lot of people. Of course, when you compare that against the 350 million people in the country, that comes out to about 1 out of every 1000 people.

How many people died in Mexico City? Lets be overly conservative and say 500 to make the numbers simple. In a city of 25 million people, that comes out to 1 out of every 5000 people. Or 5 times less than the regular flu. "Oh my God, a less deadly Flu! Everybody Panic!!!"

Here's why I think everyone is scared.

We named it.

Swine Flu. Sounds scary, doesn't it. It's so scary, 10 countries banned the import of pork from Mexico and the US. The fact that you can't catch the virus from eating pork doesn't even register with the politicians. Anything to make yourself look like you're doing something important. Even if it makes you look like an ignorant retard to anyone with half a brain, it doesn't matter. Most of the world is even more ignorant than the politicians.

It just goes to show you what a slow news week and a sensationalist global media can do. If Barak Obama was found to be cheating on his wife last week, we never would have heard about the Swine Flu. (ooops, now its called the 2009 H1N1 flu. Does that sound better or worse?)



UPDATE: Melissa was at the mall today and passed a bank that wouldn't let you in the door unless you let them take your temperature. (They'd never let me in 'cause I'm so hot.)

Furniture Shopping

One thing many expats located in this part of the work like to do while they are here is to take advantage of the reasonably priced handmade furniture that is available from Indonesia. Indonesia has two things in abundance: trees and cheap labor. This means that you can get some really nice hardwood furniture for about half the price you would pay in the States.

Two weeks ago, we decided it was time to start looking for a new dining room set. We'd already bought a bar/wine rack we've been very happy with a few months ago. We decided we'd look for a new dining table and chairs in a similar rustic style.

On a Saturday afternoon, Melissa, Jack and I went to an area called "Dempsey Hill" where there is a number of small restaurants and furniture stores. We'd wandered through some of the stores before and we liked what we saw, so we had an idea of what we were looking for and where to go. The first few places we looked at were smaller stores and while they had some nice things, they didn't really have many big tables like we wanted. We were hoping to find something that would seat 8 people comfortably.

We kept wandering around an made our way into a third store. As we walked in, we were instantly greeted and assigned our "shadow." We were clearly just wandering around looking at what was available, but of course, he asked if there was anything he could help us find.

"We're just looking, thank you," I said.

While salespeople in Asia tend to be over aggressive and pushy, they usually get the hint if you ask them to give you some space. Not this guy. He couldn't have been less than 5 feet away from us the entire time we were in the store. I understand that we must have looked like a walking pile of cash, but he was so close, he made us feel like he thought we were going to steal something. He just wouldn't back away.

After about 10 minutes of this, we'd had enough. It didn't matter what they were selling, I wasn't buying anything from this guy. We walked out of the store and started down the way a bit toward the next place. While they did have some patio furniture for sale outside, you would think he'd get the hint after we left the store. I turn around and the guy is still tailing us. Unreal. This was no longer just a bad salesman, it was weird. I actually had to stop in my tracks and turn around to face this guy.

"Stop following us now." I was not smiling or friendly.

That seemed to do the trick. He turned on his heel and headed back into his store without a word.

Now that I was in such a good mood, I didn't really feel like shopping anymore, but I wasn't dragging myself out looking for tables again next week. Thankfully,we were very happy with the next store we went to. The first thing the owner said as we walked in was, "everything is half off." Music to my ears. There was a lot of construction in the area and many of the shop owners were packing up to move temporarily during the construction. I expect this may have had something to do with the sale.

At first, we didn't see too many tables, but that was because they were all in the back of the store. There must have been 20 of them all lined up. Round tables, square tables, regular rectangle tables. Plenty to choose from. After a bunch of looking back and forth between a few different tables and chairs, we were able to settle on something Melissa and I both really liked (a rarity).


It has a rough finish and the wood is stained and oiled, but no polyurethane or hard finish. It's 2.1 meters (almost 7 feet) long and it weighs a ton. The chairs are big and really heavy too.



After we'd selected the table and chairs, Melissa of course then realizes that it will be hard to find anything else to match this custom furniture after we've brought it home.

"We should probably look for a buffet to go with it while we're here," she said.

While I was already hot and grumpy and I wasn't expecting to drop even more money, she did have a point. Finding another piece that we could both agree on wasn't as easy. At this point, poor Jack was just sitting on a bench under a fan trying not to complain about the heat so his Dad wouldn't get mad and take away his dessert tonight. Melissa and I must have spent another half an hour wandering around in the store before we were able to settle on the last piece.


I don't even know what the heck to call it, but it matches and we both like it.

After handing over a big pile of money, they agreed to deliver the furniture in a week. It all arrived on time an looking even better than it did in the store. While it was a bit of a frustrating day, we're very happy with how it turned out. Next year, the living room.

Monkey Boy

Last weekend, we took Jack and a few of his friends to Forest Adventure. Forest Adventure is a "ropes course" in Bedok Reservoir Park. If you've never seen one of these before, it's basically a series of rope bridges, catwalks and other obstacles installed up high in the trees. They are mainly used by teachers as team building tools or as a way to build self confidence. If you've got a fear of heights, it's a heck of a challenge. Walking across a 2x4 20 feet in the air can be a difficult task. Apparently, someone forgot to tell Jack it was supposed to be hard.

After strapping into his harness and getting clipped into the safety wire system that goes through the whole children's course, Jack began making his way through the obstacles. Most of the kids took a while to get used to being 20' in the air. On the first bridge that you need to walk across, the kids tended to hold onto the safety wire above their head while walking on the 2x6 boards that made up the "floor". When Jack's turn comes, he barely took his hands out of his pockets, let alone try to grab the safety wire. He wandered across the bridge like he was on his way to 7-11 for a Slurpee.

look ma, no hands

I was pretty impressed. Jack blasted through the course like he was part monkey. Absolutely no fear whatsoever. Here's another picture just so you can put the height of the course into perspective.


Jack and his friends all had a great time. They did their best to encourage each other and cheer each other on. Every once in a while, one of them would get their safety rope stuck and they would all help the others pull it through the sticky spot. Here's a few more pictures.

this was called "the trapeze", the hardest obstacle there

smile for the camera sweetheart

The course ended with everyone's favorite, the "zip line" Just jump off do the platform 20' in the air and slide to the bottom.


They've got an adult course as well. It's 3 times as high and twice as long. Melissa and I want to give it a try, but we're thinking we'll wait until next Christmas when my brother is visiting. Should be fun.

Stash it Away

So, my friend Jason sends out this email to all of his close friends about a month ago:


I'm attempting to bring back the mustache. I hope you will all join me. I started growing one as a silent protest to one of my superiors at work. Let's call the protest stache' a minor attempt at civil disobedience. It caught on with several of the guys I work with (and one hairy lipped woman) and now it's become quite a fashion statement. I challenge all of you to grow a mustache and groom it anyway you wish. The one rule is that it has to be natural hair. We can set a date and meet someplace for drinks, ribs, whatever and see who has the best mustache. The mustache can be judged according to the following criteria. Please feel free to add or subtract from the list.

Mustache Criteria

1. Thickness - Bare spots are unacceptable.
2. Style - Use gels and waxes for all I care. Curl it, shave the corners or grow it over your lip. Creativity is key.
3. Awesomeness - No explanation needed!

This will allow us to all get together, unless you live in Singapore, have fun, and laugh at each other. Please feel free to have anyone else join this contest. Let the criteria and debate begin.


Needless to say, I'm always up for both a challenge and on opportunity to embarrass myself. I sent a two word reply.

I'm in.

I have to tell you...it was a long month. Firstly, you're either a mustache guy, or you're not. There's no in between. Throughout the process of growing this hairy ode to Magnum P.I., I had a hard time recognizing myself in the mirror. As I'd go to brush my teeth at night, I'd look in the mirror and think, "Whoa...oh yeah, that's me."

Melissa and Jack also had pretty strong opinions about the facial hair. Melissa pretty much refused to kiss me until I shave it off. As I happen to be a big fan of the whole "kissing my wife" thing, this has been a major drawback. Jack has also made his opinion known. Randomly throughout the day, Jack will just stop what he's doing, look and me, and yell, "Shave it off!" He also told Melissa that he wanted her to put my razor in my lunchbox to that maybe I would shave it off at work.

The best part about growing it is watching the reactions of people I know who haven't seen it before. There's three basic reactions.

1. Ignore it. This looks like its actually not that easy. I can see them look right at it and pause a bit before they start talking to me. I can tell they're thinking about it but they don't want to tell me I look like a cross between a State Trooper and their 6th grade science teacher.
2. Deal with it head on. "So, growing a mustache, huh?" Um, no. This caterpillar just crawled onto my face last week and I haven't had time to brush it off yet.
3. Try to raise the topic in a round about way. "So, it's been a few weeks since I've seen you, have you lost weight? No? Oh, we'll you look different."

Thankfully, today is the last day of "The Great Mustache Incident of 2009." All of the boys back home in Massachusetts are getting together for barbecue tonight to compare and make fun of each other like a bunch of 7th graders. I can't imagine what the waitress is going to think when she shows up at the table to take the order. It's going to look like an episode of Reno 911 in there. Unfortunately, I can only participate remotely from my location here on the other side of the world. I've been told they'll hang my picture on a chair so that I'm represented.

By the way, Jack decided that he'd grow one himself too.

Posted on the SAS Wiki

Jack's class is finishing their module on non-fiction this Friday with the "Non-Fiction Celebration!"

All of the kids get an opportunity to present the research they've been doing over the past 6 weeks. Jack chose tigers as the animal he wanted to study. He's been looking at library books and looking up tigers on the internet.

All of this work has culminated in a movie that each of the kids made in their computer class.

You can click here to take a look. (link)

The Mind of a First Grader - Volume 8

What did you want to spend your time doing when you were seven? Playing Legos? Watching cartoons? Riding your bike? Not my kid.

(last night after the cub scout meeting at the school)

Jack: Dad, when we get home, can I post on the SAS wiki?
Matt: (Pause) What?
Jack: When we get home, can I write on the SAS wiki?
Matt: Your school has it's own wiki website?
Jack: Yeah.
Matt: Oh. Um...how about tomorrow. It's a bit late tonight.
Jack: Ok.

Welcome to the 21st century my friends.

Everyone's a Winner

Last week was the annual "Pinewood Derby" for Singapore Cub Scout Pack 3017. It's one of the biggest events of the year for the Scouts and everyone has a good time.

This was Jack's first year to participate and he did a great job. He and I worked on the design together and then I cut the car out of the block of wood on the band saw that the pack owns. Jack then did all of the sanding and came up with a paint design. I showed him how to do it, then he painted the car himself.



Jack did such a good job, he got second place out of all of the Tiger Cubs in the design competition. Everyone told him how much they liked his car. Jack's favorite part of the car was that Indiana Jones (from his Lego set) was riding on top.

The race itself was done pretty well. It was a nice track with three lanes and an electronic timer. Each car got to go three times, once in each lane. Each of the heats had 31 races, but things were run efficiently and went pretty quick. The times from each of the three heats was averaged to give everyone their times. Jack's car did very well, coming in 6th out of eighteen cars in the Tiger Cubs group.


After the races, all of the kids were presented with trophies. Regardless of how fast everyone's car went, everybody had a great time. All of the kids were very proud of their trophies and spent about 20 minutes afterward congratulating each other.


Another fun day with the Cub Scouts in Singapore. Just a few more weeks until Jack finishes his Tiger Cub requirements and gets his Bobcat badge.